On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
