I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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