ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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