sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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