she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
