not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
