So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
