i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
