I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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