If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
