Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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