Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize