just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
