Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
