at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
