On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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