and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
