at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
