I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
