Umm I'm too high to move.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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