Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
