He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
