i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
