We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
