before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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