we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she peed on how many people?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
