Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
