I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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