flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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