Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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