Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
