Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
