They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
