Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize