i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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