So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
