yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How drunk are you?
Completed.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
