I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
