Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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