I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Congratulations! We have a period
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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