now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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