Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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