You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Its about making memories worth repressing
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
