Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You need a sexual gate keeper
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
