batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
This baby is an asshole
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
