i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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