it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
