No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
