they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
