yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
