someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize