its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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