He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
