he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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