so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
