Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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