So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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