I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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