i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize