My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
