Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize