The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
