Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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