My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
