so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
where are you?
Hypothermia
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
