WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
