ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
