So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize