Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
