I want to stick my p in your. b.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
